Will Horn, Intern Counselor, MSOE Counseling Services
March 2009
For many, motivation to succeed in college is a good thing. The drive to excel inspires and motivates students to do well in school and hopefully rewards them with a job upon graduation. However, while hard work and good study habits are beneficial, sometimes striving to produce a flawless report card may in fact do more harm than good. This newsletter is devoted towards the nature and dangers of perfectionism. It also delineates the difference between excellence and perfectionism.
What Exactly is Perfectionism?
Perfectionism is simply defined as a disposition to feel that anything less than perfect is unacceptable. This mindset can manifest itself in any number of areas, from how well one performs in school, sports, or any particular hobby or skill. It can influence how one lives their life both outside and in the public eye. An article in Psychology Today notes that perfectionists are made, not born. It can often stem from the way a child has been raised or from the set of values that have been instilled in one's family while growing up. Psychologist Randy O. Frost of Smith College has spent nearly two decades exploring the nature of perfectionism. He believes it may sounds something like this:
"My parents want me to be the best at everything," or, "Neatness is very important to me."
Excellence vs. Perfectionism
Just because one excels in a given area does not mean that person is a perfectionist. Though on the outside excellence and perfectionism may appear similar, they are far from it. Miriam Adderholdt, author of Perfectionism: What's Bad About Being Too Good? states that, "excellence involves enjoying what you're doing, feeling good about what you've learned, and developing confidence. Perfection involves feeling bad about a 98 and always finding mistakes no matter how well you're doing."
Examples of Perfectionism
- High personal standards: placing high importance on holding very high standards of self-evaluation.
- Concern over mistakes: interpreting mistakes as equal to failure and believing others will lose respect for you as a result of these perceived failures.
- Organization: placing an emphasis and importance on order in one's daily life.
- Doubting actions: doubting one's ability to accomplish tasks or goals.
Consequences of Perfectionism
- Individuals may be more inclined to conceal their mistakes, thus preventing him or her from receiving any potentially helpful feedback.
- Perfectionism often serves as a source of negative emotions, though, ironically, its goal is often to avoid negative emotions in the first place.
- Perfectionism may stifle creativity, assimilation of knowledge, or learning new tasks, as one is often too dedicated on mastering their current task to take on innovation.
Overcoming Perfectionism
In order to overcome perfectionism, it is essential that one subscribe to a number of rational behaviors, such as:
- Accepting yourself as a human being.
- Forgiving yourself for any mistakes or failings.
- Developing an ability to use "thought stopping" techniques whenever you find yourself mentally scolding yourself for not being "good enough."
- Eliminating unrealistic expectations and the idea that you are infallible.
- Being flexible in setting goals and willing to reassess your plan from time to time to keep things realistic.
MSOE Counseling Services creates monthly newsletters on mental health concerns and psychological issues. You can view the complete list of downloadable Counseling Services Newsletters.
MSOE Counseling Services is located on the second floor of the Kern Center (K-230). To schedule an appointment with a counselor, call (414) 277-7590 or visit the Counseling Services homepage.